MASTER SPLINTER’S SELF-TITLED LP TURNS HEADS

Rock n’ roll will never go out of style, and Master Splinter has what it takes to ascend to legend status. Their recent self-titled LP explores complex themes and song structures, honoring the “greats” along the way. Their 40-ish-minute record traverses treacherous territory, tackling tough topics with tenacity. An earnest passion for the genre and music at large renders ‘Master Splinter’ a carefully curated album. It’s very user-friendly but packed with references, subtle jokes, and other nuances that excite listeners. Many aim to create the next great rock n’ roll record, but Master Splinter has the skills and enthusiasm necessary to do the job right. The group’s Spotify bio says that their goal is to, “melt faces as the booties shake,” and this self-titled album achieves that goal.

The first track, “A Caustic Version” immerses listeners into an Alice In Chains soundscape, a nice aura of familiarity to get things going. As an introduction, this track serves its purpose well; there is just the right amount of commentary regarding materialism and consumerism, while solid instrumental work guides these lyrics along with powerful rock vocals. The vocal chain itself is crisp, with masterful production skills capturing the vibe necessary for this kind of record. Sure, others have achieved similar feats to Master Splinter, but there has only been one of this kind ever made, all at once. This opening track suggests that the record is a collector’s item, something to brag that you knew about before everyone else. The breakdown towards the end of the song sounds straight out of my dad’s car listening rotation, in the best way possible.

Among other nuances, I can’t believe the way I lost “The Game” (if you know you know) was from a b-side track on a band’s self-titled album. Normally, I’d be so frustrated this would dock the group a few points off my review. However, I must say…I laughed. Also, the song is so technically good that I must give credit where it is due. One thing about Master Splinter is that it’s evident they spend days upon days crafting each song, making sure things fit just right before anything is sent to post. Finals are clearly gone over again and again; whether their team is large or small, Master Splinter has the correct people backing them up to create a cohesive, colorful body of work. 

Similarly, the direct reference to Ozzy Osbourne was perfectly executed in “The Aug Man Cometh”. I was personally subjected to the original version by my father, who likens Ozzy to nothing short of a god. The thing with rock music that separates it from other genres is the way that it connects to people. Other genres have a similar effect, of course, but the diehard communities that rock n’ roll developed thanks to bands like Master Splinter, who keep traditions alive and well, are simply incomparable. Again, the technical skill showcased in this track is out-of-this-world. 

Master Splinter exists in a realm of their own, but they have the chutzpah to stand among the greats that came before them. Their relentless dedication is audible in every note; even if their self-titled LP isn’t “your thing,” it might become “your thing” due to the sheer contagiousness of the band’s everpresent joy surrounding music-making. This thematically dense record doesn’t shy away from being as opinionated as metal once intended, and I think that earns it several bonus points. Yeah, sure, the references are fun and witty, but the real rub within ‘Master Splinter’ is its heart, its message, and the absolutely profound technical skill from everyone involved.

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